Last night was the Golden Globes and while everyone is talking about what the women wore, we’re here to discuss the men. Nothing reminds us more of Golden Globes than a man in a tux.

Two notable female side-notes on our dude night: the GGs were hosted by comedians Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, and they did not disappoint. They were funny and cool and added a bit of feminist class to the normally boring celebrity self-celebration snoozefest that is the Golden Globes (Oscar’s ugly younger brother if you will.)

Best zing of the night came when Poehler referenced Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow, saying “I haven’t been following the Zero Dark Thirty controversy … but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.”

ZOOOOWHAT!?!?!

Bigelow was totes laughing too so you know she hates that douche.

Love you ladies!

 

Let’s run the Good, Bad & Ugly shall we?

 

The Good:

Funny guys Jason Bateman and Paul Rudd looked daper and clean cut.

 

American Horror Story’s Evan Peters looking sharp.

 

Aziz Ansari looking like the Indian James Bond.

 

The Bad:

R-patz could not have looked less appealing. I miss his hair. Sadface.

 

I hate to say it but my man Michael Fassbender is looking a little too shiny for my liking, but still good enough for my licking.

 

Ewan McGregor paired velvet pants, that accentuated his nuts, with a regular old dress jacket and I don’t know how I feel about it..

 

The Ugly

Viggo, Viggo, Viggo… thanks for dressing up like my high school principal for the fucking Golden Globes buddy! I bet he found that tie in his truck minutes before he exited for the red carpet.  Is it a clip on? You look horrible.

 

And speaking of high schoool, Ben Affleck looked like he was at his high school’s prom. Sometimes it looked black, sometimes blue, sometimes purple, sometimes brown….what is going on? Did he get that tux at the Goodwill on La Brea? So many questions…

I actually feel sorry for Sofia Vergara in this picture and I should never have to feel sorry for Sofia Vergara.  Look what you’ve done Ben!